Bottom of the Totem Pole

It's most likely a phase. All the books and mommy websites say, it's a phase. But, it still stings. My baby cries when I pick her up from grandma's arms. When she sees daddy standing behind me, she wiggles to reach for daddy and cuddles in his arms without any complaints. Even the cats get extra attention.
Yes, grandma spends the whole day, every day with her. Daddy plays with her as soon as he walks through the door. Me, the mommy, makes her go to bed and take naps; nothing fun. I know, no child will not love mommy because she is the bedtime and nap police. I just really really can't wait to have this phase end.

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1st day of school

No, my little baby is not old enough for school, or even nursery school. Her grandmother takes care of her at home so she doesn't need to go anywhere. I don't have to deal with the "back to school" separation stress like moms of school age children. But, she waved to us as we gave her a hug and walked toward the front door. No prompting from grandma. She was so adorable.

But, I was sadden that she knew we were leaving for the day. She might or might not understand that waving to mommy and daddy means goodbye. But, her little gesture still tugged at my heart string that my little baby is not that little anymore. She's slowly turning into a little person with thoughts and ideas of her own. And she's only 10 months old.

Time for baby no. 2??

I actually had this conversation with my girlfriends from high school recently. All of us are what the media consider overachieving professional women. Our dreams back when we were graduating HS were to go to top universities, then named grad schools, which leads right into big fancy jobs. Husbands and children were near the bottom of the priority list. The six of us pretty much got what we wanted, at 35, we are now globe-trotters, investment bankers, ad execs, scientists, but only 3 of the 6 have children. Only 1 of us has more than 1 child. We all hit that magical "high risk" age of 35.

Although we are proud of what we've achieved professionally, we certainly lament that fact that our priorities were what they were. The 3 that don't have children have the pretty much thrown in the proverbial towel. The 2 that have 1 child each gave birth months before our 35th birthday.

I'm one of the 2 that just gave birth months before my 35th birthday. I had to literally plan it out and execute on it. I didn't want to be 50 and look back and wished I chose a differnt priority list. Now, do I want a 2nd baby? My brain says no, but my heart is wavering. My brain has been winning all the debates my entire life. Maybe, sometimes, the heart should win once in a while.